Of Cake, Broken Windows, and Frosting
by ArAnCaR No. 6
Summary: He had a cake, tackily-wrapped presents, a broken window, and now some mystery blob in the kitchen ceiling... Fantastic... Birthday Fic for Uchiha Itachi!


**Very small One-shot for Itachi's birthday! :D My first time doing one of these, so be nice! This story can be considered as being a sneek peak of my summer story project... still no name ^.^;**

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**Disclaimer: Naruto doesn't belong to me**

**...**

**D:**

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**Enjoy!**

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Itachi Uchiha got exactly what he expected the day he turned eighteen.

Usually, birthdays are supposed to be about the birthday-person, surrounded by a cake, a few tackily-wrapped presents, and food... lots of it. That, to Itachi, sounds like the most cliche celebration ever, which took a turn towards the odd when Deidara came crashing through the window, yelling an ecstatic, "Happy Birthday!" to the gawking Itachi, the rest of Akatsuki following soon after.

Luckily, Sasuke hit him before his older brother could do some serious damage to the poor blond.

So now he had a cake, tackily-wrapped presents _(Itachi made a mental note to hide all the tape from Naruto because that poor kid's locks were in a friggin __hairball__ of doom)_, food, and a broken window.

Well, he got that and a messy kitchen and living room.

...

Speaking of the kitchen...

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"What the hell is **that**?" was the only thing that came out of Itachi's mouth as he stared up at the chunky porcelain pale blob that was stuck on the ceiling. The thing looked like it was once frozen and was now thawing with a dew-like coating covering it, yet it did not slide or even move from it's rooted spot near the light fixture. Everyone else stared at it, shocked that that thing even managed to get on the ceiling.

"I didn't do it," Naruto deadpanned, "Sasuke wouldn't even let me touch the frosting." The twelve year-old Uchiha scowled at that comment, "Exactly. That's because you started to eat the cake batter before that, you idiot." Another glare was sent as the blond folded his arms, hints of infuriation seeping through, "It had chocolate!" he defended. Sasuke looked at him in disbelief, "So if I put chocolate of a freaken explosive tag you'll eat that too?" the dark-haired teenager backfired, throwing his arms up in the air for emphasis, "you're out of it!"

"Sasuke, calm down. He already ate half anyway." Itachi absentmindedly beraded as he continued staring up at the blob of God-knows-what without turning around.

"In my years as Akatsuki Leader," Pein began slowly, he too mesmerized by the mystery of the blob, "I've never seen something as confusing as this... thing." he finished, unsure as to how to even describe the mass. "Even more than the time we banished our 'Welcoming Ceremonies'?" Kisame asked, puzzled by the glob as well. The orange-haired male gave a slow nod of affirmation. "Can we even touch it?" Kakashi asked, bewildered. "I... hope so," the newly-turned eighteen year-old hesitated, a bit bothered by the unruly lump that made it's home on his kitchen ceiling before a thought struck him, "wait, who was in the kitchen before the window thing happened?"

Everyone turned to slowly stare at the two Genin in the room.

"I swear I didn't do it." Sasuke deadpanned, a serious look on his face as he raised his hands in the air for emphasis on his innocence. That only left...

...

"What he said!" Naruto pointed nervously at his best friend, who glared at him with the burning inferno of a thousand suns.

...

Doesn't anyone think Sasuke's emotions have been getting a little out of hand lately?

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"So, Chibi's friend?" Deidara asked, using the nickname he developed for Sasuke, "what the hell is it?"

Of course, seeing as Naruto was the only other culprit, everyone made him pull out a chair, stand on it and test what the substance was. The younger blond frowned not only from the name, but from the small sample of the unknown splotch he caught in his fingers.

"It's stiff," he whinned, "like a rock." Itachi stared at him for a few moments.

"Like a rock?" he sounded bewildered, the sentence making no sense as Hidan shared the same look as his ex-senior. "What the hell does that even mean?" the Jashinist asked, gaping at the twelve year-old idiot. Naruto scowled before waving his hand in front of the Akatsuki member's face, "It's just hard, okay! Test it yourself, I don't know how to tell ingredients apart!" The silver-haired rouge nin promptly glared at the boy, but before he could spew out his usual string of profanities, Itachi held out one hand, but not before giving Hidan one good, hard slap over the head. "Fine, let me see."

The blond deposited the meager bit into the older Uchiha's hand, and everyone watched as he rolled the substance in his fingers for a few moments, a frown etched on his face as he came to a verdict.

"It's frosting." he deadpanned, causing many if not all to fall over on the tiled floors, stumpted.

"EHH?"

"We've been freaking out about frosting?" Naruto yelped, gaping up at the still blotch in the ceiling. "Apparently so." the eighteen year-old sweatdropped. "But if it's frosting," Sasuke started, picking himself up as he pointed towards the form that could easily pass off as some sort of growth, "how the heck did it stay up there for so long?" he demanded as he walked a bit closer to his older and now legal brother.

Itachi stayed silent for a second.

"Did you two by any chance throw it at each other?" he questioned, slightly suspicious.

Both Genin sweatdropped simutaneously.

"It might've fallen a few times..." the dark-haired child mumbled, pushing two fingers together in slight embarrassment as Naruto scratched the back of his head, both avoiding complete eye contact with the older Uchiha, making Itachi look ironically like a parent. Everyone knew already, that it wouldn't take long for the truth to come out. Itachi is the type of person who has connections everywhere, and he is easily capable of cutting off resources and supplies of one specific item, within whichever reach he wishes, and for however long he desires. Seriously, he used to serve as a member of Akatsuki, he **will** deprive Naruto of ramen and succeed if he wants to.

"Towards what direction?"

Silence followed, before Naruto finally confessed, followed by a response from the young Uchiha.

...

"It was Sasuke's fault!"

"WHAT?"

...

Just with that outburst, Itachi was forced to intervene in their little argument after a few moments due to... 'complications', leaving the rest of the occupants speechless as a shrill yell suddenly echoed, followed by an order.

...

"Uchiha Sasuke, drop that kitchen knife! You already know that's not for killing!"

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**A/N: Short, lame, but I love it XD Happy birthday once again to our dear Uchiha Itachi! :D**

**Extra surprise:**

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Epilouge:

"Why am I stuck with cleaning this up?" Naruto whined as he helped his best friend get rid of the now rock-hardened frosting in the ceiling with the help of some sturdy chairs and the ass-kicking power of bleach. Sasuke scowled as he carefully balanced himself in order to reach and rub at a particularly tough spot a few inches away with a scrubber, "Because Nii-san's watching, idiot." he mumbled, and sure enough, Itachi was 'supervising', flipping through an anatomy book dedicated to the nervous systen that he had recently purchased, a bored expression on his face.

"Not my fault you two decided to throw this stuff," he reminded without looking up, "besides, you two of all people know not to mess with the kitchen since, well..." he trailed off there with a mere hand gesture as the two young nins grimaced at the memory of the time when they both got simutaneously ill with the flu and, well, let's just say they lost a lot of body fluids in the kitchen **(1)**.

"Well, Happy Birthday to you." Sasuke sarcastically remarked, as Naruto wringed out one of the spare rags they were using to wipe away the stickiness.

"Well, thank you, little brother," Itachi replied, equal, if not more, sarcasm in his voice as he flipped a page, "but that's not getting either of you two out of cleaning that stuff from the ceiling."

Both Genin groaned.

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**(1) By losing body fluids, it means they were retching a lot (A.K.A throwing up, sorry for the bluntness ^.^;)**

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**Other A/N: XD I'm evil! Muahahaha!**

**Review! Before Sasuke comes at you with a knife! DDDD:**

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**To Naruto manga readers: AWWW! X3 How cute was that? Lol, the Bloody Habanero XD**

**To One Piece manga readers: WHAT THE HELL? ODA YOU ASS!**

**To Bleach manga readers: ... I love the headbutt at the beginning XD And woah! Who's excited for that Getsuga Tensho?**


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